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(There’s) No Room to Rhumba In a Sports Car by Elvis Presley (from Fun In Acapulco, Legacy Recordings, 2010)

Well, not if you regularly gorge yourself on a diet of fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches, milkshakes made with bourbon, bacon, peanut butter and ice cream and who knows what else. And besides, wouldn’t it be more fun to rhumba in a sports car that didn’t have enough room for that activity?

 

Joe DiMaggio Done It Again (from Mermaid Avenue: The Complete Sessions, Nonesuch, 2012)

Done what again? Joe DiMaggio, our lonely blog readers turn their eyes to you…woo, woo, woo.

 

Cheaters Never Win by The Love Committee (from Law & Order, Salsoul Records, 1995)

Ok.

 

Sink the Bismarck by Johnny Horton (from Greatest Hits, Sony, 1990)

Bill remembers listening to this when he was 8 years old, so do the math.

 

Roller Derby Saved My Soul by Uncle Leon and the Alibis (from Roller Derby saved My Soul, 2007)

When all other spiritual paths make you falter…just go with Roller Derby.