Is your holiday shopping cart feeling a little light? Is your menorah drooping around the edges? Or has your inner Scrooge decided to come out and shout, ‘Bah humbug?’ Never fear, Only A Game fans, the 20th installment of the Only A Game Holiday Gift Guide is here.
Cheat To Win Bracelet: $3.00
The cheapest item on this year’s list is the “authentic, official looking” Cheat to Win bracelet, sold by the satirical online newspaper The Onion. The official description of the plastic bracelet claims that it’s “sponsored by BALCO and worn by great athletes around the world,” providing a slow release of “HGH, EPO, and Testosterone.” Chad Nackers, Onion Sports Editor, says it’s a perfect gift for “anyone with wrists.”
Sports String Tzitzit: $40-$47
Just in time for Hanukkah, former pro basketball player Tamir Goodman is selling compression fit Sports Strings Tzitzit — the four corner garments with fringes, traditionally worn by Jewish men. They’re available in black, with Goodman’s logo, or a custom logo. Goodman thinks his Sports Strings Tzitzit make a perfect gift for athletes celebrating the Jewish Festival of Lights. “It’s totally kosher, it’s a lot of fun, and it makes the commandment alive and more comfortable.”
The Original Goal Light: $49.95
As the lockout drags on, the hockey fan on your list might be longing for the sights and sounds of NHL games. The officially licensed NHL Original Goal Light can help with that problem. Steve Gagliano at mancavegifts.com says with a simple press of the hockey puck shaped remote control, your man cave can filled with the sound of the goal horn from any of the NHL’s 30 arenas.
While you wait for your favorite team to actually be playing, the Bradford Exchange has a foot-tall Stanley Cup replica commemorating the LA Kings victory. Due to the lockout, Bradford Exchange Marketing Director Rob Pomeroy says plenty of the 4,999 limited edition trophies are still available.
Beer Mittens: $55
Trying to keep warm this winter, inside and out? Eygló Guðnadóttir has the perfect gift for you. The Icelandic grandmother knits beer mittens — one side is a normal mitten and the other side is knitted in a loop to hold a beer can. We won’t try to spell out their traditional Icelandic name.
For the sports fan whose style is a bit more flashy, Karen Glazer, CEO of Glam Sparkle N’ Glitz, offers Swarovski encrusted collegiate Koozies for fans of 11 sports-loving universities… all of which just happen to be south of the Mason-Dixon Line. The Koozies are washable and are adorned with a “cute little bow.”
Sports Buds: $10
Tammy Buchanan has another great idea. She handcrafts Sports Buds, made to resemble a rose, from the “hides” of baseballs, softballs, footballs, basketballs, soccer balls, volleyballs and tennis balls. She says men enjoy receiving her flowers and have even been known to wear them as boutineers at weddings and proms.
Like the Sports Buds, the Spirit Fingers are sold on Etsy. Alyshia Gonzales of Aly’s Crochet Creations came up with the idea for these super-stretchy gloves adorned with pompoms in your team colors when she was making an Oakland A’s scarf for a friend and had some embellishments left over. She says both men and women enjoy cheering on their favorite team while wearing the Fingers.
Teething Bling Sports Line: $19.99
While a teething ring that can be worn as a necklace might not seem like a popular idea, Amy Creel, owner of Smart Mom, says the first run of her sports line sold out in record time. Never fear, Amy has re-stocked the items and even has a Design-Your-Own option for moms who want to celebrate a team that wasn’t on the original list. And if the baby takes a break from chewing, Amy says, “You still look like you’re wearing a cool necklace supporting your favorite team.”
Gina Meyers is best known as the author of The Unofficial Harry Potter Cookbook and Love at First Bite: The Unofficial Twilight Cookbook. But there’s more to this classically-trained chef than just fantasy novels. Meyers has also produced cookbooks for fans of two winning teams: the Green Bay Packers and the San Francisco Giants. And while the “Laces Out Bacon Wrapped Scallops” in the Packers book are just the same as the “Don’t Stop Believing Bacon Wrapped Scallops” in the Giants book, both are also “healthy and tasty.”
Hot Sports Football Grill: $44.99-$59.99
Bernie DiMao, owner of Hot Sports Grills, has a great option for tailgating sports fans… or anyone who wants to impress the neighbors with a really cool grill. DiMao sells charcoal grills shaped like footballs, baseballs, soccer balls and golf balls. He has licenses to sell branded grills for a few different schools including his top seller — and alma mater — Southern Illinois University.
We hope you’ve found the perfect holiday gift for the grilling dad, teething baby, and person with wrists. But, if you don’t see what you’re looking for here, try our list from 2011, 2010, or heck… even 2009.