1. Well, there is always the chance, way more mortifying to self-esteem than dropping a baseball, of inadvertently hitting a Google result for zit popping, and finding contests, “art” films, probably a sick song for the huddled er, over-oily masses…which of course Gary would never pick!
If I have to, I can say they’ll get sponsorship from Accutane ambulance chasers and Clearasil billboards. The song I have in my pore-ous head has got to be “White Wedding”, not to praise Billy Idol or clean this mess up, but, in the video, I am pretty sure they’re not using rice at the end, either…punk zitties are mean!!!
2. Blinded By The Light…even my 2nd cousin’s wife admitted in tandem with a household suited more for playing Trivial Pursuit, that the chorus’2nd line was “ripped up like a douche”. Hey, so I don’t speak French, but at least I knew Manfred Mann would forever be on web pages listing ‘most incorrectly heard song lyrics’….well, not if his last name was really Massengil
3. Ok, so Gary’s putting wack-sicko Captain Beefheart up, so why oh why can’t I?
-”The Quiet One”, aka John Entwistle…he certainly didn’t die quietly, what with a sackful of snuff stuff and a couple of callie girls. Best line (for teens): “I’m not quiet…everybody else is too loud”!
-Purple Warrior: Prince, or the sexist formerly known to have a water ‘orgasming’ Telecaster guitar…he now uses 24KT gold on the entire instrument, for ‘protection’, since he had a dream of playing a solid gold guitar in NYC last month…Fender Guitar Shop must be calling him all full of gilt..and exploding rubber bags of cash only.
-Wayfaring Stranger: apparently Burl Ives locked it into his autobio/persona, etc. I hope he shaves when he meets up w. all of us in heaven..a bit scratchy he was (at least on vinyl, but hey, I was 2, not even 8)!
-The Boss.., no, who cares…actually, I laugh endlessly at his producer of infinite overrecording, Jon Landau, who you can refer to as either Martin Landau’s sonic equiv. of overacting, or a fake vinyl top on many 70′s Fords…I offer him these psychonames, or ask that he just go away.
-Moonlight In Vermont-covered by Sinatra, had its own 2nd rumor life that just wouldn’t go away, despite the chairman’s protestations, that it was NOT about depression.
-Angels In Venice-Bob Dylan’s 1984 Victoria’s Secret commercial song and appearance. This sphiel should have been produced when I was 8…supermodel in her undies..Bob revealing real reasons to never want to mount a motorcycle again….as the real estate king of R and R (apart from G.W’s CD collection), Mr. Dylan, its all about rotation, rotation, rotation!
At least he could have released ‘It’s Alright Mom, I’m Only Bleeding’, and bear oneness with the fairer sex.
Rumors of my going to limbo are alongside…Bimbo (part misquote of Don Van Vliett, w. apologies, remorse, et al).